WHAT
WOULD YOU SAY MAKES A HEALTHY CENTERED FAMILY?
What
was it like growing up for you? How
would you rate your parenting?
How was it for you during Covid 19?
Share
with us, how you see a healthy family today!
By: Shirley Faith Souder I Peter 3: 8 12 June 12th, 2020
Would you agree that this is a
loaded question? How many books, college
courses, workshops, tv series have been exploring this very topic. Parenting whether singular or co-parenting,
it is quite the subject. There have been
debates, domestic police interventions, generational gap arguments, counselors
and teachers all wanting to plant their interpretation on this very, everyday
controversary.
Birth parents, grandparents, step
parents, and kids themselves all want what they want! And, there it is folks! The true complications of parenting a healthy
family come flooding to the surface.
Adam and Eve set the entire tone for this scene. FREE WILL. Add to free will, individual personality
development, and DNA disbursement. God designed each one of us to be who we
are. Let’s take the example of a family
of five. Female mother + Male
father. Two different genders that come
from their own backgrounds of DNA, life experiences, free will choices,
different personalities plus different parenting styles. Speaking English, that means, you have
already started with two people who have different ideas of parenting, have
different desires, and education. Our
couple have brought two boys and a girl into their family. The first born is out going and is a high
achiever. Male. Second born is a male who instinctually
desires to be the opposite of the high achiever. He wants to play and be mister sociable. The female is cute. And, she is the attention
getter. Mom and dad are planning a
vacation. Dad is dreaming about fishing
and exploring the entire island. Mom
wants to lay on the beach and read a book.
She is smiling at no car pools, and dinner to plan. The high achiever looks for a library to go
look up career paths and talk to peers who want the same. Mister social personality is running the
beach looking for surfer dudes and ones in bikinis. The cutie pie is looking for bikinis to buy and
groups of young people playing volley ball.
Are you getting the possible arguments and free will “my way or the
highway” that goes on? It’s all natural
and actually healthy. This example is
really God’s design. What needs to make
the family healthy is HOW WE MANAGE BY CHOICE and LEARN TO WORK THROUGH ALL THE
VARIABLES OF PARENTING DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES, CENTURING CHRIST AND HIS
PURPOSE FOR PARENTING.
As I mentioned on Mother’s Day, each
child that comes into this world is a product and design of our Universal
loving Holy Father. We are developed to
want and need unconditional love, and acceptance of who we are. We are all different yet looking for connection. So, let’s join the family for a look at love,
acceptance and boundaries. God’s
way. Scripture. Dad and mom have already conferred in agreement
and understanding about the day’s events and meeting everyone’s needs. They sit down together for a quiet breakfast,
and devotional time. They then talk over
the day’s events and desires. Everyone
is given charge over a four hour “do your thing” time period. At the given hour of 4PM, we will all return
to the hotel for rest and clean up time.
We will then as a family go to dinner and enjoy that time together with
a planned event for the evening. I believe with all of my mature mind and
professional learnings, that God wants us according to His scriptures, to love
one another and accept each other without judgement. He wants us to bring structure, rules,
guidelines from scriptures, and boundaries into our families. He wants us to teach respect and individual unconditional
positive regard into our family. He
knows the end result will be a healthy Christ centered bunch of adults who will
pass the baton. They will listen with
God’s ears, they will love with His heart, and instill Christ centered
boundaries no matter how much resistance comes from kids trying to find right
of passage. I witnessed that first hand
on Mother’s Day. All the teens and
little 3-year-old granddaughter joining hands in a circle so each one could say
what they are grateful for. A prayer
spoken and lots of laughter. I watched
respect and boundaries issued when needed. Heated discussions, yes, but in the
end, compliance and healthy hugs. I also
had great awe for the grandparents who did not have that upbringing, but CHOSE
to center God into their lives to bring a new healthy awareness into their
children and grandchildren. It isn’t easy, no one is saying it is. It is complicated today. Our generation gaps also play a part in how
we view the world. We have a skewed idea
sometimes that it should be how it was when we were growing up. Our humanness desires “our way” is the only
way. I had to do it, so therefore, you
have to do it this way. I want to end
here with, old dogs can be taught tricks.
Here is the tool: Once again. . .
CONVICTION
(This isn’t working “Help me Jesus!) + COMMITMENT to make the CHOICE to learn
and show love by CHANGING. Only Jesus
Christ can make that change. I Peter 5:
6/11
I
Peter 3: 8/9. Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another,
be compassionate and Humble. Do not
repay evil for evil or insult for insult.
On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were
called so that you may inherit a blessing. . . . Let’s be a blessing to God, in our
relationships.
I
Peter 5: 6. Humble yourselves, therefor, under God’s mighty hand, that he may
lift you up in due time. Cast all your
anxiety on Him, for He cares for you. Be
alert and sober of mind. Your enemy the
devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith,
because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is
undergoing the same kind of sufferings. . . .
Keep these truths buried inside of you to recall and come against any
toxic, or distracting measures that the enemy would use. He will use people, family, TV, even music at
times. BE ALERT. Center yourself, and your family in the
truths and promises of our great God who is the God of miracles, and
impossibilities. He DOES bring all
things together for good out of anything Satan or any one Satan uses.
